Chapter 22

Anita woke the next morning with a lump in her throat, and she wasn’t sure if it was excitement or terror. Maybe both. Definitely both. If everything went well, she would be leaving the base behind the next day.

It felt strange, to be planning to leave without packing to go back to Kerguelen. All of her fantasies about being away from the base had involved being able to go home, vindicated and safe. Nothing had prepared her for leaving in a desperate race against time to get to a new location. She didn’t even know where Hersch was planning to take her, and made a mental note to ask.

She was alone in the bed, but she could hear soft noises from the other parts of the base. She slipped into her dress and thick socks and went out to find Hersch. He was in the computer room, using his own equipment to send a message. At least, that’s what it looked like. “Were you able to contact Jay?” she signed.

He nodded. “They responded right away, and they’re deleting messages as soon as they come in. There may be some record on the server, but they say they can deal with that, too. We’re being careful. They’re working on calling off the next supply run to you, but were asking about a certain material they need to get to you. They won’t trust me enough to tell me what it is, but I’m pretty sure we can get whatever it is for you.”

Anita nodded. “I’ll explain later. Let’s just get out first. Where are we going, anyway?”

“I told you I’ve got interests all over the solar system. We’ll be going to one of my facilities on Enceladus. It’s not a huge target for mining, so we were able to get the license for the orbit pretty cheaply. And the station has artificial gravity, Mars standard. I’m guessing that’s something you’ve been missing. Titan’s fun and exciting, but sometimes you just want to be able to feel like you’re standing on something solid.”

“Gods, yes,” she responded, signing emphatically. She would make it back to Kerguelen someday, she promised herself. But not now. For now, she would enjoy the gravity and the use of a proper lab and get her work done. And enjoy being around other people again, if she could get used to it.

Most of the day was spent packing to leave. Anita hadn’t thought there would be much, but with the supply runs and the work she’d done on the suits, there was a fair amount of stuff that needed to be brought.

And to add to that, the suit, the components that she had already begun, and the printer needed to be packed very carefully. At first, Anita began packing up all the scrap she had been using to create the suit components, until Hersch reminded her that she would have access to much higher quality material in his facility. “Besides, we need to save weight as much as possible. I wasn’t really planning on turning my exploration trip into a rescue mission, and the ship is going to be pretty heavily loaded as it is.”

Eventually, everything was packed up and moved into the entry room. The ship would be there in about four hours, and Anita wanted to use the time to say goodbye to the uncomfortable place that had become home. She wandered into the kitchen, wondering what would happen to the food supplies she was leaving. The fresh produce would rot quickly, but the meat would last a long time. She might even be able to come back for it sometime. Or let other scouts know that it was there if they needed to use it. At least the rotting food wouldn’t attract bugs; some of the more common Earth pests had made it Mars, many of them necessary for the production of gardens and other plant-based food sources, but there was no need for insects on Titan, and all entering ships were carefully screened for them.

She ran a hand across the kitchen table, thinking of the hours she had spent there, working on the first suit. She would almost miss this, even though Hersch’s facility would likely have much more ergonomic seating. This had been so simple, just her and the materials. It had all been up to her brain[power, and she had done it. She had recreated her suit design here. She would miss it.

The room with the spare parts. Many less happy hours had been spent here, and it made her fingers hurt again to think about them. She moved on.

The bedroom was last. She had been through so much in here. Nights of torment when her whole body had felt like it was on fire. When she had wondered if she would live through the night, or die of sheer isolation. When she had narrowly avoided making inappropriate advances towards members of her team. Her cheeks flamed. She had done nothing wrong, but it had been so close. Much closer than she would have thought possible when things were normal.

But there had been good things here, too. Nights when she was able to rest, enjoying the warmth of the bed and blankets against the chill of the base. Deep sleep after days of hard work. The nights with Hersch, more recently. She would miss this, too. But she was also glad to be leaving it. It felt almost dangerous.

She returned to the main room, and checked one last time that all messages had been completely wiped from the computer system. She was tempted to rip out the circuits and smash the chips, ensuring that nothing could possibly be recovered, but there was data on there from early exploration missions, and that would be lost forever. No, let it be. Trust that the wipe was enough.

The air was tense as they waited for the signal. The ship would be dipping down from orbit and staying for only a few moments before they needed to take off again. The less footprint they could leave of its presence, the better.

They tried to pass the time with small talk, but they inevitably fell silent again after a few moments. Anita wondered if Hersch was regretting his offer to help. Maybe he was thinking about how easy it would have been for him to leave alone. He might be thinking about the risk of keeping her in his own facility, and calculating just how much leeway his connections really gave him. After all, he was a businessman, and businessmen knew a great deal about risk, and how to minimize it. Having her aboard his ship was not minimizing the risk.

But then Hersch caught her eye, and smiled, reaching out to grab her hand. His grip was firm and reassuring. “It’s going to be ok,” he told her. “I promise. I’m sticking with you until we make it ok.”

She nodded, squeezing his hand in return.

After what seemed like a lifetime, they heard the alert that signalled the ship was near. They stood, Anita’s heart racing. This was the most dangerous part, the time when they were most likely to be spotted. They had put on their surface suits earlier, and now all that remained was to snap the helmets in place. All of the load had been placed in the airlock, and they stepped in and sealed the inner hatch.

The outer hatch opened, and Anita saw the breezes of Titan swirling the ochre dust around the door. She hadn’t been outside in days, and the early morning light was a welcome sight. The ship sat in the dust a few meters away from the hatch, and they loaded up their arms with her equipment and ran for the door.

It took less than four minutes to load up the ship, and Anita tossed dust over their footprints as she walked back from sealing the outer hatch for the last time. She couldn’t do anything about the prints from the ship itself, but hopefully the breeze and the force of takeoff would do that for her.

And then they were in the ship, and it was rising through the murky atmosphere like a cork popping from a bottle of champagne, and the base disappeared behind them. I’m not ready, Anita thought, watching it fade into the murk below them. I’m not ready to leave. I’m not ready for what’s next. But I’ll do it anyway.